If you’ve been a target of a nurse bully, I don’t have to tell you how destructive bullying can be. I’ve known nurses who have called off work, suffered from headaches and diarrhea, and even quit —all because of nurse bullies. Healthcare loses productivity, risks medical errors, and loses excellent nurses each year to this one problem.
While some bullying behaviors are sneaky and go undetected for weeks, months and even years (covert); other bullying behaviors are easy to recognize (overt). Both are destructive and do not belong in a profession dedicated to caring and compassion.
Example of covert bullying behavior: Your co-worker Cindy is so nice! She frequently offers to finish your work at the end of your shift when you’ve had a busy day; she goes out of her way to reassure you that she LOVES new nurses, and offers to trade your difficult patient with one of her easier patients from time to time. Yes. Cindy is super nice UNTIL…you find out she’s been talking smack about you behind your back telling the other nurses, physicians, housekeeping and anyone else who will listen that she has to “clean up your mess” because you can’t cut it as a REAL nurse.
You’ve just been “zinged” by a covert bully!
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Example of overt bullying behavior: Your co-worker Alice starts loudly criticizing you in the middle of the nurses’ station – in front of others. As Alice is screaming at you, she is pointing her finger at you while spewing venom all over you and everyone else.
You’ve just been attacked by an overt bully!
It’s time for the bullying to stop! Here’s a tip on how to deal with an overt bully:
Walk away from Overt Bullying
When you walk away from a bully attack, you take the audience away with you. Seldom will a bully continue screaming, yelling, or criticizing without an audience. Here are sample situations and possible responses that involve walking away:
Yelling and screaming: Interrupt and say, “I’ll be willing to continue the conversation when you are not yelling.” If the yelling continues, walk away.
Openly criticizing: Interrupt and say, “I’ll be receptive your feedback when you deliver it calmly and respectfully” If the bully continues to criticize, walk away.
Openly minimizing accomplishments: “I respect your decisions regarding education and I expect you to respect mine.” If the bully continues, walk away.
Remember, an overt bullying LOVES an audience. So, don’t give him or her one. Walk away.
Thanks so much for reading. I’m on a mission to put an end to nurse-to-nurse bullying. I’d love to read your comments and answer your questions. Please feel free to reach out to me through my website if you are struggling with a nurse bully or bullies! And to learn about the other strategies you can take, consider joining me at one of my seminars or check out my book on nurse bullying.
You deserve to work in a supportive and nurturing environment – free from the bullies!
Take care and stay connected
Renee
For more great tips, make sure you “like” me on Facebook,”follow” me on Twitter and YouTube and subscribe to my blog. Also, check out my new book on nurse-to-nurse bullying!
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