Social media has blown up over the decision Miss Colorado made to put on her nursing uniform and talk about her Alzheimer’s patient AND the female cut down about it on the View. In particular, it was the comment made by Joy Behar, “Why does she have a ‘doctor’s’ stethoscope on?” that outraged millions of nurses. To read and watch video, click here.
But is this the first time the public verbalized a false impression of what nurses do?
NOPE
When millions of our public watches Grey’s Anatomy, where nurses just put people on bedpans, or when a nurse responds to questions a patient’s family member asks with, “I don’t know. It’s what the doctor ordered.” Or worse, “I’m just the nurse.”
We are also educating the public on what we do or don’t do.
Last week I was caring for an elderly patient. When the daughter walked on the unit, she demanded to speak to her mother’s nurse (me). Apparently, she was angry because the day before, the nurse told her niece (who was visiting), that the patient was discharged (and she was). But in the process, it was discovered that the family couldn’t ensure 24-hour support. So, we held the discharge and got case management involved until we could ensure we were discharging the patient safely.
The only thing the daughter heard was that a NURSE – not the DOCTOR – was discharging her mother. She then went off on a tirade about how “these nurses think they’re doctors…they’re NOT doctors and have no business making decisions involving patients….”
As she continued criticizing nurses and talking about us like we were stupid, I felt my heart rate go up and that familiar surge of hydrochloric acid in my stomach. It took everything I had NOT to get defensive and argue back. I WANTED to tell her that I actually DID have a doctoral degree and that nurses actually DO get involved – sometimes we save patients by catching errors DOCTORS make! And that we each have an important role to play in the delivery of healthcare.
But then I realized, that would have just fueled her fire and exposed myself as a fraud. After all, nurses are highly educated, professional, skilled human beings. And I wanted to prove that to her by NOT stooping to her level.
This is what I said:
“Help me to understand what is making you the most angry, because I want to help.”
She actually paused, looked at me, and then talked about how poor communication had been, and then reiterated her story. This time, she focused on her mom’s situation and stopped bad mouthing the nurses. I suggested we walk into her mom’s room to check on her and then talk about next steps. I redirected her to a conversation about what is best for her mom.
You see it didn’t matter that I was right. We DID have discharge orders but because the NURSE realized it wasn’t safe to send this patient home, she asked the physician to hold the discharge and consult case management. Although difficult, by NOT getting defensive, I articulated the value I, as a nurse, brings to the delivery of care.
We all need to do that.
It’s unfortunate that the public keeps finding reasons to think we are just physician’s handmaidens despite the fact that the public has identified NURSES as the most trustworthy and ethical profession.
We are always going to have people who just don’t get what we do. And that’s okay. My brother works for a computer software company and still don’t understand what exactly he does either.
The point is that every chance we have to articulate the value we bring to the delivery of healthcare, we need to take advantage.
1. NEVER say, “I’m just a nurse; that’s what the doctor ordered; Let’s wait to see what the doctor says.” These statements validate that nurses are somehow beneath physicians.
2. NEVER get into an argument with a patient or their family member. Many times, they are stressed. Be the bigger person and demonstrate your compassion and professionalism.
3. ALWAYS speak highly of the nursing profession AND other nurses. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
Don’t spend a lot of time worrying about one ignorant comment made by one person. Instead, focus on what you can do to articulate YOUR value – to the public, your colleagues, AND to yourself.
Proud to be a nurse
Renee
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