Nurse bullying is a problem. We’ve ALL heard the phrase “nurses eat their young” yet it continues. Why? Consider this – Dealing with human behavior versus clinical performance isn’t simple. It’s much easier to tell someone she needs to work on her IV insertion skills versus that she needs to treat others with respect. It’s not intuitive to be able to address bad behavior. There’s not a specific guideline that will “fix” every behavioral situation.
So, ending nurse bullying is difficult at best. But the complexity of human behavior isn’t the biggest barrier to end nurse bullying. So what is?
FEAR OF RETALIATION
Fear of retaliation is the #1 barrier to ending nurse bullying and in my opinion, the #1 reason this problem has continued for so long.
Although I’d like to say that you and I could fix this, again, it’s not that simple. But I do want to offer a few strategies that will buffer the impact of retaliation.
Tips to decrease the impact of retaliation
1. Document
I talk a lot about documentation but really; it’s an important step to ending nurse bullying. It’s even more important if you are concerned about retaliation. Start documenting objective behavior of the bully. Perhaps you confront the bully when she openly criticizes you in front of others and then when in charge, she gives you the worst assignment. Document this. Be as objective as possible. Do this ongoing until you have a collection of objective bad behavior. You may need this if her retaliation gets worse.
2. Link bullying behavior to patient safety
Anytime you can link the bully’s behavior to a patient safety issue – ding, ding, ding. Now YOU have some ammunition to protect yourself from retaliation. Why? Because you have a better chance of the bully’s behavior being addressed by more than just you. Patient safety is on the radar of administration and is more likely to be addressed. One nurse shared with me that the bully took away her trach patient’s call bell and then wrote her up for “not having the call bell close to her patient.” What the bully didn’t realize was that patient witnessed her (bully) moving his call bell and reported it to the manager. Wow. Huge patient safety issue. If I were the bully’s boss, I’d fire her on the spot!
3. Gather your posse
There is strength in numbers. Chances are, you are not the only nurse who is getting “eaten” by this bully. Find others like you. Start joining forces – protect each other – watch each other’s backs – act as scouts for one another.
4. Share your fears
The word retaliation is hardly ever spoken. It reminds me of the movie, A Lion King, when no one was allowed to say, Mufasa. Tell your manager, educator, HR person, etc. Tell someone that you are experiencing a bullying situation but you’re keeping silent for fear of retaliation. Why does this help? Imagine if 10 nurses on separate occasions approached the manager and shared their concerns about retaliation. It would get someone’s attention! Say the word – RETALIATION. After all, the fear of retaliation is what is preventing us from ending the cycle of nurse bullying. We need to say it.
Reality insight: If you document, link the behavior to patient safety and gather your posse, and she finds out – she may still retaliate. So be prepared. You may decide that it’s not worth it and stay silent – that the fear of retaliation is too great. Remember that the bully is relying on you and her other victims to think this way. That’s how they exert their power over you. Fear of retaliation is their most powerful weapon. They wield fear like a knife. Don’t give into that fear. Tap into your moral courage muscles and speak up. It’s time we stop being passive about “eating our young”, middle aged and older nurses!
Last resort – if you are working in a toxic environment where you can’t even imagine taking any action against a bully – GET OUT! Leave. You deserve to work in a supportive and nurturing environment.
Would love to read your comments about retaliation and any tips you think would benefit others.
Thanks so much for reading. Air hug to you all!
Renee
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