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Bullying
3 min read

A Secret Way Nurses Retaliate Against Each Other

Dr. Renee Thompson, DNP, RN, FAONL, FAAN, CSP®

CEO & Founder, Healthy Workforce Institute

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Your co-worker leaves you a mess at the end of her shift. So in turn, you leave her a mess the next time she follows you. You’ve just committed a Tit for Tat.

Tit for tat is an English saying from back in the 1500s. It means, “a blow for blow” (negative) or “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” (positive). However, the majority of nurses view tit for tat as negative and if you really evaluate the behavior, tit for tat is just a passive aggressive form of nurse retaliation.

tit for tat

Here’s the situation. Your co-worker (who wouldn’t give you the courtesy of spitting on you if you were on fire) is on a lunch break. The unit secretary tells you that radiology called for your co-worker’s patient to come down to the radiology department for his CT Scan. Patients need to be monitored when transported and the secretary suggests YOU transport your co-worker’s patient.

What do you do?

Option 1: Tell the secretary that radiology will have to wait until your co-worker is finished with her lunch. After all, you KNOW she wouldn’t do the same for you.

Option 2: Take the patient down.

How do you decide?

Always ask yourself this question: What is best for the patient?

If we all made decisions based on patients and NOT on the behavior of our co-workers, patients would receive better care AND you’d be role modeling professional practice and influencing others to do the same.
Don’t believe me?

This example was mine, many years ago when I was a newer nurse. I chose option 2 and took the patient down for my co-worker (even though I knew damn well she wouldn’t have done it for me).

Why?

Because it was the right thing to do.

It didn’t matter that the patient wasn’t mine or that she wouldn’t do the same for me. I did it for the PATIENT. When I returned 30 minutes later with HER patient, I barely got a thank you from her. However, several weeks later, the situation was reversed. I was at lunch and when I returned, I found out that SHE actually took MY patient to radiology.

“Be the type of nurse you would want to work with”

SOMEONE has to start making decisions based on what’s best for patients – not based on whom we are working with that day. And just like my situation, doing the right thing, no matter what, can start a trend – a trend of supporting each other and not subtly retaliating against each other.

I’m an optimist and truly believe we can create nurturing and supportive work environments TODAY. However, I’m a realist too. I don’t expect our environments to change (puppies and flowers) overnight. But I do expect that you will try. Each of us has the power to create a positive work environment for each other and the patients we serve.
Always, always choose option 2.

ReneeThompson_013_HRThanks for reading. I would LOVE to hear from you!
Take care and stay connected.
Renee

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Filed under
Leadership
Preceptor Support
New graduate Nurses
Retention
Dr. Renee Thompson, DNP, RN, FAONL, FAAN, CSP®
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Renee Thompson, DNP, RN, FAONL, FAAN, CSP®

CEO & Founder, Healthy Workforce Institute

Dr. Renee Thompson is widely regarded as one of the foremost authorities on addressing bullying and incivility in healthcare. She works with health systems worldwide to build cultures where nurses can do their best work — and stay.

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